Brace yourselves, you mongrels
I like to make definitive statements. More than that, I like to make outlandish definitive statements as a way to bolster an opinion. It’s a simple concept, really. For example, just add the words “since Hitler” to any sentence, and a bland conversation becomes memorable.
Try this on for size:
A discussion is undeniably more intriguing when a parallel is drawn to the 20th century’s most vile human. Pick your spots, though, because it’s not a foolproof strategy:
“Kanye West is the world’s most overrated rapper.”
“Kanye West is the world’s most overrated rapper since Hitler.”
Nevertheless, you get the point. Everyone in the world is trying to say something, but very rarely is anyone heard. And because I’m not prone to speaking loudly, I prefer to make my outlandish points known through the written word.
It takes a certain amount of narcissism to start a blog and thrust your views on an Internet community that, undoubtedly, doesn’t at all care what you have to say. Notice I said “you.” You are an idiot. I am here to make fun of you, and the universe will love me for it.
This blog will be a forum for astute observations of the world and all its heathens, my perspective on movies (new and old), the occasional thought on sports and whatever else comes to mind. Revolutionary concept, right?
The difference between my blog and the countless others like it is that I have Ryan Gosling-like charm and Chevy Chase-like wit. That combination will attract readers like no blog ever has.
Some even say I’m the best writer since Hitler.